Teuge, Netherlands: You can sleep on the plane
Flying first class (or in a private jet, while we're talking crazy) is one of the few true out-of-reach luxuries for even those with a healthy sense of the splurge. Oh, to be on the comfier, roomier, cloth-napkinier side of that tiny curtain.
At Teuge Airport in the Netherlands, you get all of the perks of Amex Black air travel for considerably less with the Vliegtuigsuite, an actual decommissioned 120-seat East German government aircraft from the Cold War era that's been fully overhauled into a high-concept, high-design hotel suite.
Let the Jacuzzi's jets work their magic while you peer out porthole windows at real jets taking off. Sip cocktails in the cockpit, which comfortably seats two and has lots of (mostly unchanged) fun knobs and buttons to twiddle. Nip into the sauna, then repair to a glossy white king-sized sleeping pod in the rear of the aircraft. Buzz a flight (ground?) attendant on call for your 24/7 needs.
Best of all, there are no lines, no screaming babies, and your skin won't be sucked drier than the Atacama Desert.
Of course, you do have to get to Teuge (about an hour west of the German border) first. For that, we recommend a neck pillow and a sleeping pill, or getting cozy with the beverage cart.
Rates start at €350/night for two people.